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Disclaimer: I am providing the content on this blog solely for the reader's general information. This blog contains my personal commentary on issues that interest me. Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed on this blog are mine alone, and not the views of any law firm with which I am in any way associated or any other member of any such law firm. Nothing on this blog is intended to be a solicitation of, or the provision of, legal advice, nor to create an attorney-client relationship with me or any law firm. Please view my "Full Disclaimer" statement at the bottom of the page for additonal information..

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Florida: Bear Comes to Child’s Birthday (Actual Bear)



Some kids want clowns at their birthday parties. I seriously wonder about them. Some kids want ponies.  I get that.  Maybe some child wants a fake bear.  I doubt any wants a real bear. Certainly no parent wants that. This is Florida, though, so a bear did come and hung out at a child’s birthday party in Orange County.
Not the actual bear, see link for video of it

WKMG reports that a large black bear was removed from an Orlando neighborhood after he crashed a toddler’s birthday party. This wasn’t out in the country.  It was Orlando. 

Agents from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Department shot the bear with a tranquilizer and loaded him in a pickup behind the house on Pinto Way.  There is so much awesome to that story, I can’t get my mind around it.  Hopefully the children are old enough to remember this.  The parents, being responsible, kept the kids away.  This is somewhat surprising for Florida, but is to be commended on some levels for the children’s safety.  However, they were robbed of the chance to see a live bear shot out of their backyard tree and loaded into a pickup truck.

Best birthday ever.  For next year, they need a drunken maurading feral hog and a python and it will be a Florida birthday trifecta. Kids can dream.


Full story and video: http://www.clickorlando.com/news/black-bear-crashes-birthday-party/-/1637132/23125638/-/2t51rg/-/index.html

Friday, November 29, 2013

Devils Slither Among Us: Drunk Floridians Beware, Python Eats Passed Out Guy in India



On this site, we have discussed the various states of drunk (Florida Taco ID Drunk, Georgia Waffle House Sex With Cheeseburger Sandal Drunk), and now there is a new one: Eaten by a Python Drunk.  A man in the picture below, according to a tweet, was drunk and laying beside a liquor store in Attapady, India when a python found him and ate him.  Lesson to be learned: do not get so drunk that you pass out in an area where you could be eaten. 

Snake, with drunk man inside
This could be difficult in most of Florida, where there are many things that could eat you, and many worthwhile places to drink.

We posted this week about the State of Florida’s decision to cancel the open python hunt in favor of professionals-only affair.  Perhaps it should be reconsidered.  Perhaps it’s time for all-out war if a man can’t enjoy tasty libations and not end up inside a snake.

There is at least one question about the picture that goes along with this story: why is the snake still alive in it? There are about seven sets of feet standing around staring at a snake with a dude inside, and at least one guy taking a picture.  No one had a machete?  I understand the guy inside is toast, but the snake must go.  The snake can't be let to sit there and simply digest.  That's not cool, Attapady, India.  If we're going to still be the dominant primordial species, when one of our own (albeit a weak member) goes down in a notorious manner, we need to take down the one who took him and not stand around staring at the snake. Seriously, the snake's too full to eat someone else right now.  Take him down Attapady.

Florida, be warned, Attapady is apparently unwilling to step up.  Your move.

Hat-tip to Matt Sawicki, faithful blog supporter, for the story.

Story and photo credit: http://sportsmasher.com/2013/11/27/python-eats-passed-out-drunk-guy-in-india/

Friday (Serial) Fiction: Devils Walk Through Galveston, Ch. 8



It’s been a few weeks since we posted serial fiction on Friday.  I hope you are looking forward to the next installment of Devils Walk Through Galveston. Settle in for the Thanksgiving weekend.  And if you’re looking for something to give for Christmas, give a good book.  I’m more than happy to sign any copy you get to me.

The prologue, Chapter 1 (which introduced the crime and criminal), Chapter 2 (which introduced the police officers), Chapter 3 (the seduction of the initial victim), Chapter 4 (which follows the fleeing killer), and Chapter 5 (police begin tracking the killers), Chapter 6 (backstory of Eli, one of the key police officers), and Chapter7,  (the killers make their way to Galveston).  In Chapter 8, Searching through Houston’s underbelly.  I hope you enjoy it. Please read it and share (noncommercially).  Go to Amazon and get the book for the rest.

8.  Eli and Vincent out.  Night.  A reluctant prowl.
Vincent drove them in his classic Barracuda, north out of Houston into the unincorporated areas of Harris County.  A stretch of land between the city of Houston and its northern suburbs.  Old mineral land still producing oil and gas with the city surrounding it.  Cows walking over fields dotted with the gas well cap fire hydrants from which no water would flow.  Less than a mile from the interstate.  Twenty miles north of downtown.  Twenty miles south of oil company headquarters in the Woodlands.  Sort of a no-mans land of car lots, hotels and gentlemen’s clubs.  An occasional spa mixed in throughout the strip malls.
This was the Sheriff’s territory.  Laws reached here if problems were reported.  Little was.
The first rain-drops on the windshield.  The first lightning struck overhead.  Thunder close enough overhead to shake the car. 
Vincent turned the radio down, started the conversation:  “I’m glad you got the Lucchese’s.  The boots suit you.” 
Eli, pensive, not about fashion: “Thanks.  I didn’t think they’d work at first.  I like the couple of inches they give me.  They cost a ton.”
“You can write it off.  You needed to look like you have some money and know what to spend it on.  You needed a little cowboy, too.  Not much though.  You look nervous.”
“Not too much.”
“You’re not worried about the sheriff, are you?  This place never gets raided in the evenings.  Abject whoring takes place in the afternoons.  Or so I’m told.”
“I’m not whoring.”
“You’re not.  Just remember, if you’re in one of the private booths and the song changes in the middle, toss the girl off your lap.”
Eli laughed at the idea: “They enforce the three-foot law?”
“Not really.  It only counts if the girl isn’t wearing pasties over her nipples.  Which they don’t do at this club.  If the girl has bare breasts, she can’t officially be within three feet of you.  She can sit on your lap at the table as long as she has her breasts covered.  And all the three-foot law is down here is an excuse to haul you into the station.  In West Texas, they take it seriously.  Down here, it’s just to fuck with guys who they don’t catch with a girl’s hand in his pants but want to lean on a little.  The song change is a warning, though.” 
“What do you mean?”
“The club outfits all the bouncers, managers, bartenders, even the valets, with walkie-talkies.  They use them for legitimate purposes.  But they have a couple of buttons on them.  One has a specific tone.  Anyone sees the Sheriff’s vice squad, or someone they think is vice start to do a raid, they hit the button.  The d.j. will switch the song.  All the girls in the back jump off the guys laps.  Sometimes they don’t hear.  You have to toss them.” 
Eli incredulous:  “The Sheriff doesn’t know this?”

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving: Rare Bone-Disease Diagnosis Ends Abuse Case Against Father of Delicate Infant



A Woodlands, Texas family was torn apart for a year, beginning in August 2012, when Andrew Huger was changing his infant daughter’s diaper and her leg snapped in his hand.  KHOU reports that she was rushed to the hospital, where doctors diagnosed multiple other bone fractures in various stages of healing and prosecutors charged systemic abuse.

Fortunately for Andrew (and his daughter), no one, his wife, their pediatrician, the nanny, had seen any signs of abuse.  The father was in and out of court until the family was told of another mother who had been charged with abuse for a similar fact pattern until her baby had been diagnosed with an extremely rare genetic condition, called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) in which the bones and joints are extremely fragile and handling a baby like a normal parent will cause severe damage.

The baby was tested, found to have EDS, and the father cleared.  They can give thanks, both that a loving, innocent father was cleared of wrongdoing, and that their child has been diagnosed and can be treated (or at least handled with extreme care).

The father was quoted, at home now, relieved: "Right now it's just a joy to be back home and have the house," Andrew said. "That's far outweighing the anger. The happiness to have my girls back."  Though, it’s hard to fault CPS or the doctors, when presented a baby with multiple fractures, for not taking immediate action and suspecting an extremely rare genetic disorder that neither parent had heard of before.  CPS has a job to do, and had to do it, to protect the child.  CPS, unfortunately, knows of enough evil in the world to act when faced with a broken baby.  Thankfully, this wasn’t an abused child, just a very, very delicate one.

Full article and embedded video: http://www.khou.com/news/local/Rare-bone-disease-causes-dad-to-be-falsely-charged-with-child-abuse-232445631.html