Human Trafficking: Mother in Columbia Arrested for Auctioning her Daughters’ Virginity

About two weeks ago, we reported on virgin auctions in Medellin, Columbia, being run by remnants of Pablo Escobar’s notorious drug cartel.  The investigation and reporting were done by the Independent UK, and apparently, it may have gotten someone’s attention. (Original story here)

 

Arrests in Bogota for Virgin Auctions

This week, CNN reports that a mother of 14 girls in Bogota, Columbia has been arrested for auctioning off the virginity of all of her daughters when they were barely out of puberty.  (full story)  Margarita de Jesus Zapata Moreno, 45, was arrested along with a 51 year-old contractor who police believe impregnated the now 16-year old daughter who came forward with an accusation and a child, allegedly by the man.

Mexican Mafia “Captain of Captains” Arrested, Facing Drug Trafficking Charges and not Murder After Key Witness Slain

An alleged “Captain of Captains” in the Mexican Mafia, a Texas prison gang which operates on the outside, has been arrested in San Antonio and will face murder charges.  Martin Barrera Balboa, Jr. was set to face charges last spring before a key witness against him was gunned down in her driveway with his sons watching, while she was on the way to church.

 

Martin Balboa

On October 1, jury selection was set to begin in a Bexar County courtroom regarding the cold-case killing of J.D. Delgado.  It was alleged that Balboa was the getaway driver when Delgado was shot four times by a masked man as he played basketball at a South Side (San Antonio) community Center in 2003. 

The key witness, Julie Ann Rodriguez, had been set to testify, but Balboa had been appearing at her church and work intending to coerce her not to testify.  His bond was revoked, then reinstated and an order was put in place for him to stay away from her work and place of worship.  Little good that did.

Fart-Filtering Underwear: When the Devil Inside You Has to Get Out

God save the Queen, and God love the English.  A British line of fart-filtering underwear exists and is making big sales in the US.  This is not a joke.  This actually exists, and is on the market.  So, when the devil inside you has got to get out and you are around someone who insists that it stay in, they’ve got you covered. 

 

Shreddies: Like a Brita for your butt

They’re called Shreddies, and they’re genius.

Not surprisingly, "Americans are making up the majority of our sales at the moment," Shreddies spokeswoman Ianthe Betts-Clarke told The Huffington Post.

Of course Americans are the majority of sales. We are the land of chili con carne and the fried Twinkie.  We are also the land of polite company and wives who don’t handle gas passing well. 

Shreddies weaves a carbon cloth called Zorflex into its rear panel. Betts-Clarke says it can squash the smell of "200 times the average flatulence emission." (Shreddies apparently hasn't met my Aunt Edna.)

In 2008, the company began to serve customers with digestive-tract woes but branched out. "It's a product for everybody, because everyone farts," Betts-Clarke explained.

Men's boxer briefs cost between $39 and $45, while women's panties are about $31 to $34.

Genius, pure British genius. The carbon filter is like a Brita for your butt.  This will save marriages.  This may make some marriages happen in the first place.  Any man who goes to a chili cook-off without these is committing negligence.  Have no shame in your game.  Filter the devil out of you.

Story and photo credit: Huffington Post  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/24/fart-filtering-underwear_n_4156400.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Devil Clowns Among Us: Man in Clown Makeup Dangled Child from Railroad Overpass

Police in Kenosha, Wisconsin were called by a woman who saw a man in clown makeup dragging screaming children into the woods at 2 a.m. Sunday.  Police found a drunk Antonio Brown, wearing clown makeup, among three children who were crying uncontrollably and holding each other. 

 

Not the clown who hurt the kids.

According to Kenosha News: The children said Brown, their mother’s boyfriend, had come back from a Halloween party in Racine about 1 a.m. and invited them to go for a walk on the train tracks. They had done that a few weeks before and thought it was fun. 

But this time, the 13-year-old child told police, Brown was drunk and was making the two children drink, too. The older child said he was forced to drink so much that he threw up.

The children tried to run away, but Brown caught up with him. The older child said Brown hung him upside down from the 50th Street overpass saying, "If you try that again, I'm going to drop you."

The story gets more harrowing for the children.  Brown forced the kids to climb on top of parked trains, and when the younger ones refused, he pulled them up by the hair.  He later dangled the younger child from the train holding his neck and ankle and threatened to kill him.

 

Antonio Brown: amateur Halloween clown

Brown is charged with two counts of physical abuse and two counts of second-degree of recklessly endangering safety.  He faces up to 16 years if convicted.  He should get a lot more than that.

Brown, from the account, does not appear to be a professional clown.  He appears to be an amateur Halloween clown who is insane. Professional clowns are likely to take this poorly, much like they took the Mexican Cartel Hit-Clown poorly (story here).

If clowns didn't have such a bad reputation, I'd say this would hurt their reputation.  This will just burnish it.  Kids, don't go in the woods with anyone dressed as a clown, even if he is your mom's boyfriend.  The day he dresses as a clown is a bad day for that walk.

Full story and picture of Brown: http://www.kenoshanews.com/news/police_man_in_clown_makeup_dangled_child_from_railroad_overpass_474031842.html

Overzealous NYPD Can’t Recognize Jolly Ranchers, Arrests Candyman

A couple of members of the NYPD apparently can’t read wrappers, and apparently don’t know the difference between “rock” and “rock candy.”  Love Olatunjiojo and another man were stopped by NYPD officers who found “crystalline rocks of solid material” – four blue and two red – according to the police report (accurately describing Jolly Ranchers) that were still in their wrappers.  

 

"Rock candy" not "Rock"

Instead of recognizing one of the tastiest candies out there, they took the men in and threw them in jail for 24 hours before tests showed that the candy was what it claimed to be, candy.  Not candy laced with drugs.  Not drugs in a candy wrapper.  Just candy.  Maybe they were taking Mayor Bloomberg’s war on sweets and sugar too literally.  Maybe they were just being hard-asses.  We don’t know what else was said between the men and the police.

What we do know is that the cops have been sued for civil rights violations.  The charges were dropped when the candy was found to be candy.  The men claim “emotional trauma and suffering” as a result of false arrest and imprisonment (anyone who’s been in a New York jail can attest to that).

Story link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/21/love-olatunjiojo-lawsuit-jolly-ranchers-meth_n_4136227.html