Pantsless Oklahoma Burglar Breaks Into Home, Makes Milk and Cookies

In a sad story which says as much about the country’s mental health system as criminal law system, an Oklahoma City woman named Kelly got a surprise in her kitchen on a Friday morning.

KFOR reports:

Kelly said, “Somebody was standing there with that door open. Then I said,  ‘Who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?’ She said, ‘My name’s Michelle and I’m just having cookies and milk.”

Kelly said, “I stayed right here and said, ‘Michelle, I need to know who else is in this house and I need to know how many people are with you.”

The woman said she’d been beaten up and was just there eating milk and cookies.

The woman’s pants were outside.  In addition to the milk and cookies, the woman got pesto and pepper jack cheese. She also had some cash and jewels.  The homeowner went to get her husband and his gun.  The burglar was gone but quickly found.

She faces charges of first-degree burglary and larceny.  Hopefully, she’ll get some help in jail, too.

Ex-affiliate of UGK Records Arrested for Human Trafficking

Beaumont (Texas) rapper Ivory P (real name Ivory Charles Pantallion III), aka “Ivory Pimping” was arrested in Lake Charles for human trafficking and, surprise, pimping.  Ivory is not a wanna-be rapper.  At one point he was signed to Port Arthur record label, UGK (short for Underground Kingz) Records. UGK Records was founded in 2005 by the late Chad Butler, aka “Pimp C”. Pimp C was half of the duo Grammy-award winning, UGK, which was formed in 1987 with his partner Bernard Freeman, aka “Bun B.” While Pimp P met a tragic and untimely death in 2007, Bun B seems to be doing quite well these days. Bun B is set to release another album soon, he recently released a children’s coloring book , he is a lecturer at Rice University, and also he has a pretty popular texting and driving PSA with Houston Mayor Annise Parker.

Ivory Pimping: Kept it Real, Now in Jail

 Ivory P on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be fairing as well. Ivory Pimping seems to be right in line to be the next poster child for the Chris Rock “when keeping it real goes wrong” campaign.

Last week, Ivory, and a female accomplice, lured a 19-year old woman out of Huntsville, Alabama down to Beaumont.  Once there, Ivory took her cell phone, gave her a prepaid phone and showed the woman her escort page advertising her services.  After one trick, they moved her to Lake Charles against her will (trafficking and kidnapping), where another escort page had been set up.  The victim, fearing for her life, called her mom in Huntsville, who called the police, who found Ivory pretty quick.  Now he’s in jail with a $1 million bond and plenty of time to work on new lyrics. I doubt this is life imitating art. This seems like his raps (which I haven’t heard to be able to judge) being pretty autobiographical.  Interesting question about whether they’ll be able to be introduced at trial.

I wonder if Mayor Parker, who has launched the “Shine  a Light” taskforce to deal with human trafficking in Houston, ask the Bun B to make another PSA speaking out against human trafficking.

Full story: Houston Chronicle