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Sunday, December 15, 2013

Twerking Thief of Brooklyn – video is epic



That hump, that hump. That lovely lady bump.  There are distractions and there are lookouts. There are lookouts that create distractions.  Then there thieves that forget that there are security cameras and there is the YouTube Machine where said security footage can be shown for the world to see (at current count, 131,695 times- well, now 131,696, I couldn’t help myself). 

It is epic. It’s time lapse security video of a Brooklyn woman standing out in front of an apartment building in a fur coat and jeans twerking like a mad-woman for an hour.  By herself, on a dude, taking a short break on a bench, on the dude, and by herself again.  This is not some skinny little girl ala Miley Cyrus doing a six second twerk on some oversized dude in a referee suit.  This is hard-core exercise-video worthy twerking. 

Then something happens.  The dude comes in and rips off some packages that are in the building for the contents and the twerking stops and they flee. 

The Gothamist (via The Blaze) reports that she was a lookout for a package thief and packages were stolen.  They have more pictures.  They have the epic dance clip. They have quotes from the residents attesting to the stamina of the twerker.  What they don’t have is a quote from the twerker herself, asking if she knew about the  existence of security cameras, for she is easily spotted on them.

So, Protip for the day, if you have epic skill and stamina at a noticeable craft, don’t use it for theft.  Use it for an audition.

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