Listen
Florida motorcycle thieves, here’s your protip for the day: when fleeing
police, on foot or on bike, don’t leave your backpack behind. And if you do
leave your backpack behind, make sure it doesn’t have anything to readily
identify you.
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| Protip: take this with |
Dalje.com reports that once again, CSI was not forced to the scene of a Florida crime. No
forensics were required. No high powered
computers. No mock ups, or DNA evidence
needed. No. Police in Cape Coral spotted
a man, later easily identified as Scott Ogden, appearing to check the battery
and headlight of a motorcycle. They approached
to see if everything was o.k. He said he
was helping a friend get the motorcycle running, but was unable to give the
name or address of the friend.
Protip
number two here for motorcycle thieves in Florida, have a believeable backstory
that doesn’t involve a one-step follow-up trip-up. If your backstory is that you are helping a
friend, perhaps you ought to have a friend you can name, who could then perhaps
try to vouch for you. If not, come up
with another story. Or don’t steal a
motorcycle.
The
police then calmly ran the motorcycle’s plate and found it was reported
stolen. The theft report said the
vehicle lacked a battery and would not start without a key. So Ogden stole a motorcycle that wouldn’t
start. Perhaps he pushed it away.
When
confronted with this information, Ogden fled, leaving his backpack behind. Officers did not give chase. They didn’t need
to. They looked in the backpack and
found his ID, then went to the address the next day, where he admitted stealing
the motorcycle.
You’re
making it too easy. Worst episode of CSI
ever. Worst episode of COPS ever. When
the police don’t even have to chase you, and can just go get dinner, go home,
chill, then get you the next day, you’re doing it wrong and it’s time to
reevaluate lots of things in your life.
Scott Ogden will have that time now.
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