We’ve said it before: There are a
few clear ways to get onto this blog: (1) be a drunken feral hog doing what
drunken feral hogs do: (2) become an all-star Floridian; (3) attack someone
with a sword. We have profiled more of
the first two than I can link up here easily.
On the third count, we have linked to sword wielding robbers who were grabbed by the cojones on the
way to failing, and a man who demanded insanely good tacos for free with a samurai
sword, while failing.
We’re going to have to modify
that a little, because, wielding an ax in a
crime is going to get you on this blog as surely as wielding a sword
will.
We’re also here to introduce
those outside of the upper Midwest to Council Bluffs, which ought to be
considered a low-end directional city (West Memphis, East St. Louis). It is the East St. Louis of Omaha, but
usually more hilarious.
Omaha.com reports that Council
Bluffs police are looking for a man who went full Council Bluffs and robbed an
e-cigarette store wielding an ax with a trailer-ball hitch attached to it. That’s right.
He went for the gusto. He went
high end for e-cigarettes. And he didn’t
just use a regular ax. He tried to make
the ax all medieval by attaching a trailer ball to it, like some sort of hybrid
morning-morning star/nunchuck that was just probably more likely to hit him in
the balls.
He fled on foot, because of
course. He was wearing a black sweatshirt with the word “Nebraska” on it, because
Huskers. Council Bluffs definitely needs
a direction in its name.
No comments:
Post a Comment