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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Inept Livestock Crimes: Cattle Rustling Gone Wrong in Malaysia (four cows don’t fit in one car)



In all the ways that crimes can go wrong, the getaway is sometimes the most important.  The getaway car is quite important.  When attempting to cattle rustle, one ought not rustle cattle.  If one is going to rustle cattle, one ought to get a cattle trailer, a truck with a proper towing capacity, and a proper trailer hitch, usually a fifth-wheel style in-bed ball to transfer the weight across both axles. 


When trying to steal four cattle, putting them in a family sedan won’t work.  Cars have owners’ manuals. The owners’ manuals will tell you how much weight they will hold. I’m guessing that rudimentary math will tell you that four full-sized cows will tax the weight restrictions of any family car which isn’t otherwise modified.  If you were going to modify a family car to the point that it would hold four full sized cows, you might as well just go get a truck, trailer and trailer hitch.  It would be cheaper and easier. 

Metro UK reports that a group of cattle rustlers in Malaysia (likely first-time cattle rustlers) used blow guns to tranquilize four cows, stuffed one into the trunk of the car, and the other three into the folded down seats, then drove off until the car completely collapsed a short while down the road.  Then they fled, leaving the stuck and groggy cows in the car.  Not shrewd. Not shrewd at all.

Full story and additional pictures of sad looking, drugged up cows in a car: http://metro.co.uk/2014/01/07/found-em-at-a-cow-boot-escape-plan-foiled-after-crooks-stuff-cattle-in-car-4253914/

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