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Friday, September 20, 2013

Breaking News: Iphone Fanboy Line Campers Robbed Twice



In breaking news, KHOU reports that folks in Southwest Houston who have been waiting in line ALL NIGHT for a new Iphone with no real new features except a colored plastic cover, have been held up at gunpoint by actual armed robbers. 



Police said several people were waiting in line when two guys with guns got out of a car and demanded the customers hand over their wallets, phones and tablets. The men then sped away.  Nobody was hurt.  The customers chose made what was may have been a wise consumer, but poor safety decision – they chose an unpopular AT&T location were not many people would be, and likely not many people would be driving by.  In this way, they had a higher chance of getting their precious new phone – with almost no new features different than the phones available yesterday – but also a higher chance of being robbed by someone other than Apple.

Seriously, why would anyone stand in line all night to buy much of anything unless it was food and you were starving?  Why would you wait in line to pay full price for a product that is going to be available in the near future as well.  It has been a long time since the Iphone has had any new features that are truly revolutionary.  This one has a color plastic back.  You could buy (and should have bought) a plastic case for the Iphone 4, because it is so fragile that if you drop it eight inches it breaks (my Iphone 3 did, before I went back to a Blackberry that actually works, all the time).

So, the robbers knew people with lots of money, lots of tech gear (they probably had the Iphone 4S), and who probably weren’t armed, were hanging out in the middle of the night at an unguarded store, ready to pay obscene amounts of money for a product that has no marked benefit from the last model.  They probably figured that the fanboys didn’t want their money much anyway, and certainly didn’t want their old gear if they were in line for the new stuff. 

So the fanboys got robbed once by actual armed robbers. The store opens soon.  They’ll get robbed by Apple now.

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