Devil swine invasion in Florida for Halloween

Feral hogs have invaded Brevard County, outside Orlando, just in time for Halloween. Hide the Halloween moonshine.  According to ABC news,  they have been tearing up yards, ripping up grass and “desecrating sidewalks with their feces.”  So, it’s a full-scale invasion.

Bring out the Natty Light

Local law enforcement is not taking this sitting down. They have hired a professional hog hunter, who intends to sic his dogs on them.  Just in time for trick-or-treating. Strong move Brevard County. Strong move.

The hog hunter, James Dean, who may or may not have an interest in packing their delicious meat into breakfast sausages, had this to say: “There's really no telling how many hogs are out there," Dean said. "But there's a lot more than those 11 that are damaging yards." It can be expensive to repair the damage, with costs sometimes reaching over $1,000."

One way to find out. Bait the place with beer. Like their Australian brethren, they will come in droves. That will flush them out.  A keg of Natty Light ought to do the trick.

Jimmy Dean apparently uses "a cooked mixture of corn, swamp water, sugar and powdered yeast" to lure the hogs in the pens. Add a little hops and you actually have Natty Light.

Bring it Jimmy Dean. Flush out the hogs on Halloween. It will be a night the children don’t forget.  A night of much sausage in the making, instead of just the normal, non-meat candy.

French terror-clowns go for the gusto, vigilante anti-clowns come out in force

You can accuse the French of a lot of things. Refusing to go for the gusto is not one of them. As readers of this blog know, so-called terror clowns have been in the news for a while now.  What started in England  as one joker dressing up as a scary clown and scaring the mess out of his neighbors, moved to Staten Island, where Brooklyn hipsters dressed up as scary clowns and stood around, taking pictures, posting them to Twitter and causing a stir.  The Brooklyn clowns, when outed, said it was art.  Supposed performance art moved to California where a slew of clowns on the outskirts of the Inland Empire copied them in their alleged performance art. 

French performance-art, however, is hard-core. Or the French are more hard-core than we normally give them credit for.

It has just come out that on Saturday, French police arrested fourteen teenagers dressed as “pranksters” who were carrying pistols, knives and bats.  That’s hard-core.  That’s also an arresting.

Yahoo news, through AFP, reports that a group of teens were arrested in the Mediterranian town of Agde in the parking lot of a high school, apparently dressed as clowns and armed to the teeth. In the nearby city of Montpellier, a man disguised as a clown as arrested after beating up a pedestrian with an iron bar, while several motorists complained about different clowns threatening them.  This has been going on in France since early October, and came to a head.

There are suggestions that a challenge was issued via social media to dress like clowns and scare people.  The French clowns took this seriously.

Now the population in France has done what I had said would likely happen here, in Texas, if a terror-clown showed up.  The French have set up vigilante justice, as five teenagers armed themselves with bats, tear gas, a hammer and a truncheon to confront the clowns and met out justice.  Strong.  Very strong reaction by the French.  Why Staten Island was not up to this with the Brooklyn-hipster clowns, and why no one in England employed their national defense system of the head-butt, is beyond me. 

French police arrested, then let go, the anti-clown hit squad, and the National Police have stepped in to quell the hysteria.  Not the laughing kind.  The coulrophobia kind. The rightly deserved kind.

French terror clowns have been warned. American ones should be too.  The French – seriously the French – have stepped into the void to stop the madness.  Ronald McDonald  ought not make any appearances in Marseilles.  Hopefully the scary-clown jackassery has met its end.