Devil Surfing Crocodiles Among Us: Crocodile Shuts Down Australian Beach, Mocks Florida with its Puny Surfing Snakes

In news showing that Australia is just a harder-core, big-brother, version of Florida, or proving the reverse, that Florida is the crazy little brother of Australia, The West Australian reports that a saltwater crocodile shut down a beach in Western Australia by surfing lazily through a wave, all day. It was mocking them.  This was no idle threat.  Saltwater crocs are huge, mean and deadly.  The Wikipedia Machine tells us that they can get to be 23 feet long and 4400 pounds, and that they swim in the open ocean on a frequent basis.  (Wikipedia). To quote:

 

Surfing crocodile, mocking Florida with its puny snakes

As its alternate name "sea-going crocodile" implies, this species travels between areas separated by sea, or simply uses the relative ease of travelling through water in order to circumvent long distances on the same land mass, such as Australia. In a similar fashion to migratory birds using thermal columns, saltwater crocodiles use ocean currents to travel long distances.^[31] In a study, 20 crocodiles were tagged with satellite transmitters; 8 of these crocodiles ventured out into open ocean, in which one of them travelled 590 km (370 mi) in 25 days. Another specimen, a 4.84-m-long male, travelled 411 km (255 mi) in 20 days. Without having to move around much, sometimes simply by floating, the current-riding behaviour allows for the conservation of energy. They will even interrupt their travels, residing in sheltered bays for a few days, when the current is against the desired direction of travel, until the current changes direction.^[31]

                                               

This bring us back to today’s story, on Cable Beach, one of Western Australia’s tourism hotspots, a 4 meter (very large) dominant male croc was hanging out in the surf in knee deep water.  One Australian said, “It would be all red rover if he got hold of you.”  Indeed it would. 

Australians seem to have a healthier respect for deadly things in their beaches than Floridians, who famously saw a surfing rattlesnake  last fall, and thought it was “cool.”  It was not.   

Australians, however, regularly lose people to saltwater crocs, like this wanker who tried to swim across a croc infested river, ended predictably.  

Aptly, he was swimming in a province in Australia named Darwin.  Australia, if you want to swim with crocodiles, but be safer about, Darwin also has a theme park in which you can swim in glass croc tank, called the “Cage of Death, which also seems insane, yet gives you much less of a chance of winning a Darwin award.  Seriously, why hasn’t Florida thought of this?   Florida needs to catch up.  It is behind it’s big brother, Australia

Another day in Paradise: Florida Home Search Reveals Drugs, Ammo, Live Bass, Frozen Alligators, Toddlers

In an early entry for the title of search warrant results of the year, deputies in Polk County, (Orlando-area) Florida executed a search warrant and found the following at the home of a couple: guns, ammo for an AR-15, meth in a box of baby wipes, home-made meth pipes, one live illegal bass, two dead and frozen illegal alligators, and two live, otherwise unhurt toddlers.  That is probably the bust of a lifetime. 

 

Alligators found in a meth-head's freezer

The Orlando Sentinel  reports the findings and provides the pictures.  The alligators were found in the freezer, and were apparently a gift from the woman’s parents.  They were whole.  Maybe they were going to be for boots.  Maybe they were going to be sold for something.  It’s Florida, so you can find such things.  It’s just not legal.  We have lots of alligators in Anahuac, Texas, but you don’t hear of deputies finding them on drug busts in people’s freezers. 

The bass is another story.  It was apparently found in an aquarium.  It was undersized, so apparently in Florida, couldn’t be taken from the wild waters and brought home.  It’s a wildlife violation.  It’s adding insult to injury.  It is showing that these folks are too lazy to get a real fish from a store and get theirs from a lake. 

They also found 300 grams of meth in the baby wipes box.  And they found the twin babies.  Obviously, the babies were taken away, though they weren’t apparently harmed by the parents’ antics, beyond the negligence of having them in a house with meth, a meth head, guns in reach, and a live bass (the alligators were no threat).  I’m guessing that Family Services saw enough with the drugs, ammo, alligators and bass to think that the kids would be better off somewhere else.  Though, with Florida’s record of state institutions for kids (link to story on bodies found at juvenile jail camp) that’s debatable. 

I’m actually curious how the alligators were found.  The search warrant, which wasn’t linked in the article, likely didn’t have frozen alligators described in it.  Maybe the warrant said that the police were looking for drugs and thought they’d be in the freezer. When they opened the freezer, the alligators were “in plain sight” and were then able to be confiscated and added to the charges.  It’s an interesting Fourth Amendment question. As is the bass.  Anything is possible with meth.  Anything is possible with Florida.

Rampaging Peacock Tased Twice by Police, Shot by Owner in Houston

Houston, we should be ashamed.  We are now those people who keep wild animals as pets. We are now those people who tase said wild animals when they get out of hand, and then shoot them, instead of taking them to a sanctuary or a zoo.   We are now Florida.  

 Peacocks are not rare in Houston.  (see here) There is a colony that roams free in West Houston off Memorial Drive between Kirkwood and Dairy Ashford, in an area that was once out in the prarie, but is now in the heart of the Energy Corridor.  They roam the yards and streets, putting on a show and making a racket.  The population of 50 birds are offspring that a landowner gave his wife more than 30 years ago.  Some new residents to the area think they are a pest and their screeching needs to be stopped.  These interlopers are shut down by long-time residents who like them.

Peacock at Bayou Bend Park in Houston

The Houston Chronicle reports about a man in Northwest Houston who kept a pair of wild peacocks, one got out of control, and then he called a sheriff, who tased it.  The tased bird was not part of the wild West Houston set. It was apparently part of a private pair bought by a guy up in Northwest Houston who kept them in the backyard.  It is also apparently mating season and the male, named Meanie, took umbrage with other males being around, which I get.  It was attacking people’s legs.  The owners called the Sheriff.  That’s just ridiculous.  What were they going to do, arrest it?  While the deputy was interviewing the people and probably wondering what he was doing there, the peacock started attacking the woman.  Not being an animal control officer and having the proper equipment, Deputy Friendly tased the peacock twice.  Seriously, twice.  The bird was unfazed.  That’s strong.

That’s when the owner shot it with a rifle, apparently with the deputy’s blessing.  My guess is that’s why he called the deputy.  Because he was planning on discharging a firearm and wanted pre-clearance to do it inside an urban area.

The owner (we’ll call him Jackass) then said everyone got a souvenir, a  long colorful feather, before he left the carcass in a clearing where coyotes hang out, who would apparently eat the bird. 

Perhaps, Jackass, you could have used the Google machine and found out that there is a large brood of wild peacocks about ten miles away that likely wouldn’t mind having another member. Perhaps the bird was upset at being in your backyard and hemmed in, as a peacock is not a domestic animal, and your yard is not a zoo.  Rather than calling Deputy Friendly who would tase it, you could have called animal control.  Perhaps instead of getting your rifle, you could have gotten your phone or computer and figured out a reasonable place to take a wild animal, rather than shooting it.