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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Floridians Seem to Have a Problem with Chasing Bears



In the long list if things I am not going to do today, here’s one near the top:  I am not going to chase a bear.  This is not just because I live in an area, unlike Lake County, Florida, and particularly the underwhelming burg called Sorrento.  I can only imagine that it is a pale impersonation of the beautiful town on the Amalfi Coast, Sorrento, Italy (much like Paris, Texas is a shell of the one in France). What Sorrento, Florida may lack in cliffs, black lava pebble beaches and cobalt sea overlooking Elba Island, Sorrento, Florida makes up for in bears.  And people who chase them.
 
Dude who chases bears for fun
In a WTF story that could only come from Florida, WFTV reports  on a man who first claimed he wrestled a bear outside his Florida home.  He called 911 to advise that his arm wounds were from wrestling a bear that surprised him when he was just sitting outside on a lawn chair, hanging out, when the bear approached. Never one to back down from a large mammal, this all-star Floridian allegedly decided to wrestle and the punch the bear.  Then he got on the news to tell all about it.  He said:

"[I was] sitting outside listening to music, and all the sudden I see a shadow go by me. I look off to the side of me and just, I thought it was somebody, and I went to meet whoever it was and it was a bear," said resident Josh Hennessy. “He got ahold of my clothes I just started punching him and he ran off. I got right in his way”

Seems this may have been illegal, though.  Seems like the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission may have had a problem with a dude punching a bear.  Because when someone showed up to take a sworn statement, Mr. Hennessey then changed his story to say that while he did see a bear walk by, he chased it up the road and then fell down and thereby injured his forearms. 

So, while he did not actually punch the bear, he still chased it.  You’d think bears in Florida have enough to deal with.  You’d think dudes who sit in their front yard drinking beer have something better to do than chase bears.  But, you don’t live in Sorrento, Florida.

By the way, this is not an isolated incident.  According to the article, there were 34 other bear chasings in Lake County last year.  That’s 34 people who independently decided to chase down an animal that could turn around and kill them with a swipe or hurt them with a good old-fashioned mauling.  Six of the bears were put down for interacting with humans (for being chased).  Seem the bears ought to at least turn around and hit back at the Floridians who are chasing them.  Or Floridians ought not build (or place) houses so near to where so many bears are.  And if they do, they ought not drink so much Natty Light that they decided to chase bears.

Sorrento, Florida.  Not as awesome as the one in Italy.

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