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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

22-Pound Housecat Who Trapped Pitiful Owners Now Going Full-Portland: Going to Kitty Therapy



Yesterday, the interwebs were almost broken by the story of a 22-pound Himalayan house cat who had enough and went berserk and attacked its family.  Now, most house cats know who is in charge of their homes, they just don’t always have to prove it.  This cat did.  Aggressively.  The cat in question, which is large and not terribly domesticated, had been with the family for four years before they had the audacity to breed and bring a baby in the house who did not respect the cat.  The baby then became a toddler and further annoyed the cat, pushing it over the limit by pulling the cat’s tail. The cat put the smaller member of the household back in line by scratching it.  Then the dad kicked the cat in the butt and all hell broke loose.
 
Cat does not need therapy, family needs therapy
The cat, now fully enraged that it’s place at the top of the family and its authority was not being respected, then went berserk and drove the entire family into a guest bedroom (mom, dad, baby, and dog).  The dog did not stand up to the cat, as it had obviously been put in its place before.

The family then called 911 and animal control came out with a dog snare and trapped the cat.  The news today is that instead of just letting the cat out in Yellowstone where it probably belonged, the authorities and the family went full Portland hipster and are taking the cat to therapy.

Seriously.  They are taking a 22 pound Himalayan “house” cat to therapy where some quack can talk to the cat and feed it milk and think it is convincing the cat to be domesticated.  Here is some quick advice.  The cat will simply think that the therapist is bending to its will.  That’s how 22-pound Himalayan cats think.  And I’m a cat guy.  I love cats.  But there are domesticated cats and there are cats that are a half-step from wild and this seems like one of the latter.

Here’s a protip for the family: if you have to barricade yourself in a room and call 911 to be protected from your pet, it’s not your pet.  You are its pet. 

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