Oh Florida, how you slay us. How you make Texas and even Oklahoma look
like a bastion of civility and normality.
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| Bear scouting for beer, not Busch, though. |
Florida has a well-known problem
with bears invading urban areas. Bears in Florida started breaking into houses,
chilling in people’s pools in Orlando, and crashing children’s birthday parties.
Recently the stakes were raised
when a bear in Washington State discovered beer, broke into a campsite and tore
through a cooler, drinking 36 cans of Rainier Beer and trying one can of Busch,
leaving the rest. Florida, bears to the
north have started taking the good beer. They must be stopped before all you are left
with is Busch, and perhaps Natty Light.
Sky News reports that last week, a huge black bear
was spotted in a tree above someone’s house, likely scouting out their beer
holdings before going all Shakes-The-Bear.
The police finally acted and came to tranquilize the bear. They brought
a tarp to catch it on the way out of the tree.
This is Florida, though, so the
tarp wasn’t strong enough and the bear tore right through. Video is in the link. The
bear didn’t wake up, which was good news for the police below at the time.
Consider this, though. Now, instead of
introducing them to beer, you have introduced them to powerful sedatives. Florida, your bears are about to invade the
State’s well-documented supply of Oxy and Hydrocodone. Pain clinics beware.
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