A pair of sisters who should
immediately move to Florida were arrested at a Flagstaff, Arizona Walmart
after brawling with police. The brawl
was allegedly precipitated by employees at the Walmart recognizing them as
suspects in a chicken wing theft from a local Albertson’s grocery store.
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| Either the Arizona NCAA Riot or Flagstaff Walmart |
That’s hard to believe, but the
Arizona Daily Sun reported it. It’s hard to believe that an APB on
chicken-wing theft went out in Flagstaff, Arizona and that Walmart employees
called it in and a brawl erupted. I’m going with a different hypothesis. I
think the sisters were still pissed about the pitiful play of Kaleb Tarczewski
of the Arizona Wildcats, who got rolled over by the Wisconsin Badgers in the tournament. I mean, how are you seven feet tall and don’t
get any rebounds. Doesn’t make any
sense. Doesn’t make any sense that a kid
who was ranked ninth in the country coming out of high school is so soft, or
that Sean Miller has continued to play Tarczewski for two years. It makes about
as much sense as a chicken-wing APB in Arizona.
Had this taken place in Florida,
it would make total sense. In Florida,
they’d probably bring out the armored personal carrier that the Plantation
police just bought.
No, these sisters were apparently
auditioning for an extradition to Florida.
While one officer was questioning one sister about her earlier being
banned from Walmart (how does that happen?, seriously, do you know who shops
there, what do you have to do to get banned from Walmart?) the sister lunged
at the officer and scratched his face.
The sister has some jiu jitsu skills, though, and managed to wiggle free
once she was wrestled to the ground and preceded to repeatedly kick the male
officer in the groin. She then tried to
grab his junk, so the officer hit her in the face. Oh, if only Tarczewski showed so much heart in
the struggle. It would have been a
different tournament.
At some point in this all-star
melee, the younger sister, amidst the groin kicking, managed to grab her
police-interview card and eat it.
Strong. Her older sister first
attacked the male officer, then used a three-year old as a human shield.
It all came to and end when the police
threatened to taser the younger sister.
Seriously. They didn’t utilize
the taser prior to the groin-kicking, face punching, information-card eating,
baby shielding melee. After, AFTER that,
they haul out the “don’t tase me bro” card.
Seems like it should have come out earlier. Sort of like Tarczewski playing some D. But, I’m still butt-hurt about the tournament
and need to move on to the NBA playoffs, like these women need to move on to
Target, or at least to Orlando. Orlando
would be a good choice.
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