The bear problem in central
Florida has gotten so bad that three bears were hit by cars in a 24-hourperiod. That’s likely more bears than
Miami Hurricane fans. Because, well,
Miami isn’t that good this year. And bears have gotten out of hand in Central
Florida. They have come for our
beer. And now Floridians are either so
inept that they can’t see a bear from their car,
or are defending their beer.
 |
| Bear down! |
We reported earlier about Bears
in backyards, bears in swimming pools, and bears at birthday parties.
Florida is a relatively big state, so one might think the stories came
from different parts of the state. They did not. They all originate on the outskirts of
Orlando in central Florida. Someone
decided it’d be awesome to build neighborhoods right on the edge of a bear
sanctuary.
There are many animals I have
come across on the road at dusk: deer, hawks, armadillos. Hell, I lived in
Arkansas and Missouri so have hit two squirrels falling out of trees, two hawks
(in different states) in mid-flight, and wiped out a chicken crossing the road.
I’m not proud of that vehicular carnage, and it took more than its fair toll on
my little green truck back then. But, I was
in Arkansas, Mississippi and Missouri, and I never hit a bear. I never came across a bear in eastern
Arkansas or Northwest Mississippi because I had the sense not to drive near
where bears are. And I have the sense not to build a house near where bears are.
Especially if it’s not a hunting cabin.
But Florida is a crowded place,
especially Central Florida and they needed room for houses. And, apparently
someone thought that the bears would stay in their sanctuary instead of doing
exactly what those episodes of Yogi Bear taught us they would. They will come
after our picnic baskets, lounge in our pools, and if given the chance, drink
our beer. And Floridians are so insane,
they chase the bears on foot.
According to WESH.com, there is
even a “bear hour” in central Florida that coincides with dusk, and this time
of year (the wandering time for bears), rush hour for humans.
Perhaps they need a feral hog
invasion to occupy the bears. At least
the hogs don’t get into traffic that often, even if they get into our beer.
