Here’s a law school evidence
class hypo we didn’t get at UT, what do
you do when the officer witnesses a certain sum of money in a suspect’s wallet,
then, for matters discussed later, can’t or won’t verify the amount before
trial? Does the officer simply swear to
the amount he saw in the wallet that wasn’t there later? Does the defendant claim the money was gone
or there was less? Does it matter when a
statute, like a drug statute, has graduated penalties for certain amounts of
drugs sold?
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| Tyrone Booker - nastily sticking it to the Man |
Here’s the real world application
of that hypo: According to First Coast News, Tyrone Booker was arrested in a
drug sting in Jacksonville when an officer in the sting was struck by a
car. Booker was placed in the back seat
of a police cruiser. The officer
observed “about $300 in the suspect’s wallet” but apparently didn’t take it
away before putting Booker in the back seat.
The officer apparently then went to roust other suspects. The officers returned
and the money – the fruits of the alleged drug dealing (aka the evidence) – was
missing. Officers searched the vehicle
but the money wasn’t found.
The officers took Booker to
jail. Booker was booked and strip
searched, and still no money. At this
point, no drugs, no money. Booker is
looking pretty good. Then it got
bad. Nasty bad.
Officers looked at the video,
because nowadays there’s always video in the cars. In the cars facing out, COPS-style, and
facing in on the back seat, §1983 Civil Rights lawsuit style. The camera inside the cruiser showed Booker
spitting on his fingers and then moving around in his pants a bunch of times.
Officers confronted Booker again
and told him the next step – since they had already strip searched him (and strip
searched, for those who aren’t privy to this, means they made him drop his
pants and spread his cheeks) was to take him to the Emergency Room for an
involuntary colon x-ray or CAT scan to see what and how far up his butt the
money was.
Let’s pause for a moment for the
gravity of this situation. Tyrone Booker
had shoved the money so farup his butt that it was not visible from I’m
assuming was a pretty involved strip search.
Tyrone, you’re nasty.
Tyrone then got the money
out. First Coast News does not report
how he got it out and I’m not going to speculate. First Coast News does report that “Due to the
money being covered in biohazard, it was not counted and the JSO funds could
not be verified.”
At some point, someone is going
to have to count the money that Mr. Booker shoved so far up his butt that it
was a medical issue. And that person
will undoubtedly decide that his job is not at all like that of those people on
CSI Miami. Those guys on CSI Miami are
never counting money covered in crap from a low-level drug sting. That job just sucks. David Caruso does not have that job. Someone has that job because at some point
the officer can’t come into court and say that he saw “about $300” in the wallet.
Tyrone Booker, you stuck it to
the Man. In a small way, you did. You stuck it to yourself in the process,
true. And you’re nasty. But you stuck it
to the Man.
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